A SOULFLO Therapy Guide
Internal Family Systems (IFS) — What It Is and How It Helps
Curated by SOULFLO Therapy — to ease the struggle of finding the right fit.
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Reading this does not establish a client-therapist relationship. If any of this resonates, we encourage you to reach out for a consultation to discuss your specific situation.
What Is IFS?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapy model built on a simple but powerful idea: we all have different "parts" inside us — not multiple personalities, but distinct internal aspects that carry their own feelings, beliefs, and roles. IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz and is now widely used and researched as an evidence-based approach for trauma, anxiety, and self-understanding.
The Basic Map of IFS
Self
The calm, curious, compassionate core of who you are, which IFS believes everyone has access to, even if it's been buried under years of protective patterns.
Protectors
Parts that developed to keep you safe, often by managing how you present to the world (the inner critic, the overachiever, the people-pleaser).
Exiles
Younger, more vulnerable parts that carry pain, fear, or shame from earlier experiences, which protectors often work hard to keep hidden or contained.
The goal of IFS isn't to eliminate any part — even the ones that feel unhelpful — but to understand what each part is trying to do for you, and help your Self build a trusting relationship with all of them.
What IFS Looks Like Day to Day (Before Therapy)
- A harsh inner critic that shows up right when you're already struggling.
- Feeling like "part of you" wants one thing while another part of you wants the opposite (e.g., wanting closeness and pushing people away at the same time).
- Overreacting to something small and realizing afterward it didn't quite match the moment — often a sign an exiled part got triggered.
- Feeling like you're a different person in different situations, unsure which version is "really you."
What Happens in an IFS Session
IFS sessions are typically conversational and exploratory rather than following a rigid script. Your therapist helps you notice which part is active in a given moment, get curious about it rather than fighting it, and eventually help that part feel heard — often uncovering what it's protecting and what it needs.
Meet Your Therapist
A therapist who fits what you're exploring
Karen Xie, AMFT
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
IFS Level 1 trained — IFS is the heart of her work with individuals and couples.
Nan Wang, APCC/AMFT
Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counselor & Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
Integrates IFS-informed parts work with EMDR to process what your parts are holding.
Nancy Phung-Smith, LMFT
Founder & Clinical Supervisor
Offers IFS intensives combining IFS with EMDR and Brainspotting for deeper trauma work.
Frequently Asked Questions
IFS includes inner-child-like work through the concept of "exiles," but it's a more comprehensive model that also addresses protective parts and how they interact with each other.
Your Parts Are Trying to Protect You — Not Sabotage You
What feels like inner conflict is often a system of parts doing their best to keep you safe. IFS helps them work together so you can feel more like yourself.